Let me start by expressing how honoured I am to be writing on Kelly’s blog.  I have always liked Kelly’s no nonsense approach and I think observing her over the past year helped me cope with a number of changes taking place in my own life.  Thank you, Kelly.

There is one thing in life that I’ve found is incredibly consistent and stable… and that is change.  Change happens.  There’s little any of us can do to prevent change from occurring in our lives but, if there’s something I have learned over the past couple of years, it’s that, with the right mindset, you can use change to your advantage.

I am one who likes to be in control.  Now, I don’t consider myself a control freak but I do like to ‘be at the wheel’ of life, if you will.  When something pops out in front of me I like to be able to brake, steer, and maintain control.  But what if the wheels of life were kicked out from under me?  It happened.  Well, at least I thought it happened.

Sixteen months ago my wife and I separated… early on this was devastating to me.  I was in love with Cheryl and valued our relationship more than most can imagine and, in fact, measured a part of my success in life on the health of my relationships… with friends, with family, and, of course, with my wife.  She meant the world to me and seeing our relationship crumble was tearing me apart inside.  What I haven’t shared yet is that the writing had been on the wall for months, no years.  We chose to ignore the fact that our relationship was failing choosing instead to trudge through day after day in some sort of robotic routine.  Our marriage wasn’t a bed of roses but I refused to allow my thoughts to focus on that… on the fact that we were growing further apart instead of closer together.

What I soon discovered, however, is that changes occurring in one’s life are opportunities to grow and become a better person.  I made this realization when I made a conscious decision to ‘let go’ and to be grateful for all that remained in my life.  It was when I let go and forgave my wife, forgave myself, and released myself from the burden of a failed relationship, that things turned around for me.  I have come to realize that any change, no matter how big or small, can be used as an opportunity with the right mindset.

So, here’s the pointers I can share to help you develop the mindset necessary to cope with change as it occurs in your life.

1. Accept that change happens.  The greatest laid plans are subject to change without intention or notice.  Accept that change could occur in any aspect of your life.

2. Prepare for change.  When working towards your goals and dreams, learn to anticipate changes beyond your control.  Visualize how you will respond to change when it tries to derail your plans.  Your mind, in fact, your soul will be better prepared to deal with change quickly should something come up to derail your plan.

3. Take an honest look at your life, now!  Learn to see change coming.  For my wife and I, change was inevitable.  We had allowed changes taking place in our life to drift us apart when, all the while, we both knew something was wrong.  There may have been an opportunity, recognizing these changes early on, to prevent the physical separation that nearly ended our relationship.

4. Learn to adapt.  If you take note of the steps before this one you will be better prepared to deal with change as it occurs.

5. CHANGE.  Don’t resist change, especially change that will happen whether you want it to or not.  If you accept change and learn to prepare for, monitor, and adapt to change, you can quickly adapt your plan and gain from it.

6. Enjoy your life filled with change.  Life is meant to be an adventure and if you approach handling change as an opportunity to experience a little bit of life’s adventure you will be better for it.

I am happy to report that, after 14 months of exploring ourselves, understanding who we are and who we wanted to become, my wife and I have reignited the passions that existed between us long ago.  We are better people as a result of our separation and we are a lot more conscious of ourselves and each other.

Regards,
Darren Sproat

Darren is a regular contributor at Then Life Happens, the blog about life at http://www.thenlifehappens.com.  He, and several featured contributors, intend to encourage, inspire, and motivate.  Stop in and leave a comment to let them know you were there.