A quick tip for when you are a bystander during conflict at work. Picture the following scenario:

Tim and Rena have very different personalities and are often at odds while working. They do not express themselves well with each other. Rena will occasionally discuss the situation with Jennifer. During this conversation, Jennifer asks Rena “”What do you think Tim does well? Rena says “He’ very organized.” Later in the day, Jennifer and Tim are in the photocopying room, where Tim’s organizational skills are apparent. Jennifer exclaims “You are so organized Tim, Rena and I were just talking about that.”

Tim has just been dropped a third person compliment. He may not have realized that Rena has positive opinions about him. Understanding that she notices and appreciates one of his positive qualities will allow him to feel more positive about their relationship.

Tim may or may not make a positive comment about Rena. If he does, Jennifer can take that comment back to Rena. Does this all sound farfetched? Manipulative? Maybe Tim will just think Jennifer is making things up. But just take a minute and think about it. As human beings, we often seek out and pass on negative comments, but rarely do we seek out and pass on the positive ones. If positive messages are more frequently passed around the workplace, there will be an increase in peace and positive work space. Take some time to notice and pass on the positives that you hear about your co-workers, whether you are in conflict, or not.