Hooray! We’ve been approved to compete in the Pepsi Refresh Everything Competition! Please take the time to go to the Refresh Everything Site and vote for the Bully Outreach Project!

As this project continues, I notice – and become attuned to the many very sad stories that exist. Children are committing suicide,  bystanders are covering up their feelings – people using bully actions are posturing so they don’t have to be hurt by the idea they’ve hurt someone else!

The Bully Outreach Project comes from a perspective of self evaluation and personal responsibility. we must all be aware of our own emotions and our own responses. We must be able to evaluate what is working for us. Parents and teachers have to be able to evaluate both their own behaviors, and student behaviors. We must be able to both seek out – and ignore the messages we hear in the media.

As I search and read, and understand – I become more and more aware that we don’t even know how to define a bully action – or how to decide if someone is a bully. Or a victim. Or a victim who has been a bully.

The No Such Thing as a Bully Program contains a new definition for bullying.  Bullying = A bully actor perspective +action +victim responder perspective. If we can change any one of these dynamics – we change the whole cycle.

Please join us! And watch as the website  The Bully Outreach Project tells the story.

Animals have an innate perception about what humans need, and a special ability to provide for that need, or to lead humans in the direction they need to go to acquire that need.  Horses especially have perceptional attitudes of empathy, kindness, perception and connectedness.

Marie Sherwood was born in Québec City. She moved to Prince Edward Island as a teenager where her love affair with horses began. Growing up in a turbulent home she found solace in the horse she rode. Marie’s favorite mare was named Afterthought. Marie felt this name suited both of them. Afterthought never judged, always listened, and mirrored a lot of what Marie was feeling. If Marie was having a good day, so was Afterthought. If Marie was having a bad day, so was Afterthought.

As an adult Marie continued to seek out horses. While finishing her undergraduate degree in Psychology Marie felt that putting the two together would one day be part of her profession. She remembered how horses had helped her get through some of the harder times of her teenage years.

In 2005 Marie, her husband Peter, and their four children moved to Saskatchewan with the dream of opening up Shalom Ranch; a ranch where people could get counseling with the horse as co-therapist. Saskatchewan was their pick as Marie feels it is Canada’s best kept secret. Finding lots of land, cheaper prices, and friendly people was what the vision needed to take flight. The vision also included helping emotionally children. Marie started Radical Attachment Camp in 2007.

Nancy Thomas of Families by Design is the co-Director of the family camp. Ms. Thomas is known all over the work for her work with severely emotionally disturbed children. Her adopted daughter Beth Thomas was the subject of an HBO special called “Child of Rage.” This documentary showed how trauma, violence, and sexual abuse can damage a child. The hope lay in the therapeutic parenting she found while living with the Thomas’ in the mountains of Colorado.

Marie offers both riding lessons and Equine assisted counselling services in Saskatchewan. She is a gifted speaker, teacher and communicator, and I am pleased to have met her!

Looking for something different for your behaviorally challenged child? A summer plan that includes some productivity and learning along with fun? Check out the pamphlet for RADical Attachment Camp!

After stumbling around for a unique name, I’ve settled for clarity. The Bully Outreach Project is beginning to take off! Response to the idea has been wonderful, and we’re just going to keep on getting the word out. To hear my vision and goals for this project, have a watch and a listen! And please do leave a comment!

Vision: The motorhome is wrapped in a cover that displays the logos and/or contact information of the sponsors and the recipients of donations. No Such Thing as a Bully stretches across the side. Pictures of children and their messages adorn the bus.

By the time the bus has journeyed through Saskatchewan, and reaches Manitoba, Children are already going to be aware of the purpose. The purpose will be easily embraced, and the presentation style and interaction is going to be direct and child friendly. The presentations make sense. Who here is a bully? Few will raise their hands. Okay, well here are some actions…talking behind a friends back, getting into a group that stays mad at someone and makes their life difficult, punching someone on the playground. Have you ever done any of these things? Even once? A few more hands will go up. (mine will – and so will some other adults in the room) – And more behaviors will be added to the list – suggestions can even be taken from the children. Eventually all the hands will be raised. These are bully actions, folks, and even those of us who don’t consider ourselves bullies, use them sometimes. And then I will ask about victimization. Who here has been a victim of bullying? And most people’s hands will go up. I will point out the obviousness. Of course we’ve all been victims if we’ve all used bully actions, how is it possible otherwise?

I will present alternative actions, and do experiments, and play where appropriate. I will talk with children and gather their stories in writing and on video. By the end of this tour it will be easy to see that bullying happens in every school. We will also come across schools who are managing bullying well, and those schools, their techniques and solutions, will be profiled. Everyone can follow the trip from the blog and Vlog. Two years of my life will be spent on the road! First in Canada, and then into the U.S.

This tour is a resource, a comprehensive and true to life discussion about bullying across our nations. The intention is to help everyone associated with schools that it is actions, and especially their own actions, that must be examined in order to combat bullying. The end result, in terms of product, will be a video and publication that illustrates the stories, and the techniques that work.

It is preferable if this tour is fully funded through sponsorships. It is important that it be comprehensive and balanced and that the end result be something that is freely available nationally and internationally to combat bullying, rather than an item that must be purchased. Fully funding this program also enables schools who don’t have money in their budget for a presentation such as this to agree to have the program enter their school without financial considerations. With a fully funded program any honorariums will be donated back to the program or given to a charity as agreed upon by the sponsors.

It’s at the beginning and I expect it to happen soon. Know someone that wants to help?

I’ve got a lot of people asking me about this exciting new program, and so I wanted to quickly do a piece that would explain it in 3 minutes or less! Watch for other videos about the program – maybe ones where I’m not talking so fast! It’s just that I’m really, really excited about the whole thing! I truly do think that we can change the energy of the bullying issue! Enjoy!

I’m thrilled to be launching “No Such Thing as a Bully – Protecting Our Children from Bully Actions. I have some hopes for this program!

• I hope to get the program in as many hands of adults working with children as possible.
• I hope the program changes the way people think about the bullying issue.
• I hope the program changes the energy of the bullying issue.
• I hope millions of children are protected from bully actions through the use of the program.
• I hope millions of children learn communication skills that they may not otherwise have learned from the program.

I believe this program is bigger than me, or Dr. Ron Graham, and that the synchronicity involved in its development has come from a higher place, a higher power. One that says the way we treat each other and ourselves can be reflected in our humanity.

Click here for more information! In the store link, find the No Such Thing as a Bully program levels, and click on “Read More.”

And please…tell me what you think, and about your own experiences with bully actions and victim responses!

This teleclass will supply vital information that will assist you in understanding your child’s unique point of view as your family adjusts to its new living arrangements. Such information, which experts agree is best gleaned early in the divorce process – and even if separation is only being considered – will continue to be valuable at all other stages of the divorce process. This teleclass will speak directly to issues experienced by women as they heal from separation and continue to learn to parent their children, using their best skills and knowledge.

This highly interactive teleclass will also provide the opportunity for questions, and adaptation of the information to your particular situation will be provided. Topics will include:

Children’s Needs and Perceptions
The Impact of Your Own Adjustment
The Value of One Good Parent

To Register, Click below!

PINK PURSE INTERNATIONAL TELECLASSES AND WEBINARS:

Pink Purse International Teleclasses and Webinars (Member)   $5.00:

Pink Purse International Teleclasses and Webinars (Non-Member)   $10.00:

Let me start by expressing how honoured I am to be writing on Kelly’s blog.  I have always liked Kelly’s no nonsense approach and I think observing her over the past year helped me cope with a number of changes taking place in my own life.  Thank you, Kelly.

There is one thing in life that I’ve found is incredibly consistent and stable… and that is change.  Change happens.  There’s little any of us can do to prevent change from occurring in our lives but, if there’s something I have learned over the past couple of years, it’s that, with the right mindset, you can use change to your advantage.

I am one who likes to be in control.  Now, I don’t consider myself a control freak but I do like to ‘be at the wheel’ of life, if you will.  When something pops out in front of me I like to be able to brake, steer, and maintain control.  But what if the wheels of life were kicked out from under me?  It happened.  Well, at least I thought it happened.

Sixteen months ago my wife and I separated… early on this was devastating to me.  I was in love with Cheryl and valued our relationship more than most can imagine and, in fact, measured a part of my success in life on the health of my relationships… with friends, with family, and, of course, with my wife.  She meant the world to me and seeing our relationship crumble was tearing me apart inside.  What I haven’t shared yet is that the writing had been on the wall for months, no years.  We chose to ignore the fact that our relationship was failing choosing instead to trudge through day after day in some sort of robotic routine.  Our marriage wasn’t a bed of roses but I refused to allow my thoughts to focus on that… on the fact that we were growing further apart instead of closer together.

What I soon discovered, however, is that changes occurring in one’s life are opportunities to grow and become a better person.  I made this realization when I made a conscious decision to ‘let go’ and to be grateful for all that remained in my life.  It was when I let go and forgave my wife, forgave myself, and released myself from the burden of a failed relationship, that things turned around for me.  I have come to realize that any change, no matter how big or small, can be used as an opportunity with the right mindset.

So, here’s the pointers I can share to help you develop the mindset necessary to cope with change as it occurs in your life.

1. Accept that change happens.  The greatest laid plans are subject to change without intention or notice.  Accept that change could occur in any aspect of your life.

2. Prepare for change.  When working towards your goals and dreams, learn to anticipate changes beyond your control.  Visualize how you will respond to change when it tries to derail your plans.  Your mind, in fact, your soul will be better prepared to deal with change quickly should something come up to derail your plan.

3. Take an honest look at your life, now!  Learn to see change coming.  For my wife and I, change was inevitable.  We had allowed changes taking place in our life to drift us apart when, all the while, we both knew something was wrong.  There may have been an opportunity, recognizing these changes early on, to prevent the physical separation that nearly ended our relationship.

4. Learn to adapt.  If you take note of the steps before this one you will be better prepared to deal with change as it occurs.

5. CHANGE.  Don’t resist change, especially change that will happen whether you want it to or not.  If you accept change and learn to prepare for, monitor, and adapt to change, you can quickly adapt your plan and gain from it.

6. Enjoy your life filled with change.  Life is meant to be an adventure and if you approach handling change as an opportunity to experience a little bit of life’s adventure you will be better for it.

I am happy to report that, after 14 months of exploring ourselves, understanding who we are and who we wanted to become, my wife and I have reignited the passions that existed between us long ago.  We are better people as a result of our separation and we are a lot more conscious of ourselves and each other.

Regards,
Darren Sproat

Darren is a regular contributor at Then Life Happens, the blog about life at http://www.thenlifehappens.com.  He, and several featured contributors, intend to encourage, inspire, and motivate.  Stop in and leave a comment to let them know you were there.

Take a trip over to Darren Sproat’s blog, “Keeping it Real” to see my post there. And while you’re at it, take a look at the other posts on Darren’s blog. He is a sincere, speak from the heart kinda guy, and I enjoy following his blog. I am honored that he asks me to contribute.

Then Life Happens – From the Heart